When your life changes without your permission

I always wanted to be a teacher. I loved my teachers and wanted others to love me that much. I began "teaching" when I started Kindergarten. I was 5 years old, he was 3. I used chalk on the sidewalk and taught him the word ZOOM (why zoom? who knows?) I taught him each sound in the word, we laid in the grass and watched airplanes go "zoom", we lived by a busy road, so watched the cars and trucks go "zoom". He (and me -because you also learn as a teacher) knew everything there was about the word ZOOM.

I became a teacher later in life (I tried to be a social worker first) and I loved it. I loved the smell of new school years beginning, shiny new school supplies, at least one new outfit to start the year, new faces/ changed faces, etc., etc.

This year, after twenty years of teaching special education, I am no longer a teacher. I started a doctorate program in clinical psychology and finished after ten years. I have been working as a psychologist and a teacher for over five years. I love helping people in both ways, and this is my first year I am not being a teacher. I am loving pouring my all into my psychology practice.

I feel like I am where I should be. I love helping people "help themselves"- I am trying to be the person I have always needed in my life- for others. I was very scared not to be teaching but I got myself some new pens to feel better.